Parenting

I’m thankful that God initially gave freely!  Through that example, I am challenged often to remember to love as Christ loved, and give as Christ gave!  When God entrusted His Son to come to this earth, to be born to die, He was giving us what we didn’t deserve, but desperately needed—salvation!

To further that thought, we learned how to love Him, because He first loved us!  I would encourage you to remember that as you parent.  It’s not the easy times that we fail to love; it is the discouraging times that we fail to love.  And, if not careful, we may find that we display our love when obedience is evidenced, and withhold it when it is not.  Christ didn’t do that; in fact, he kept loving, and “where sin abounded, grace abounded more!”  As Christmas is right around the corner, may it be an encouragement to you to thank God for His unspeakable gift, as well as a motivation to love unconditionally as He did!

The apostle Paul made the point that we should remember the words of the Lord Jesus, that it is more blessed to give than it is to receive (see Acts 20:35).

• Have you thought about how you might intentionally inculcate this principle in your children?
• What things challenge you not to do so?
• Suggest two or three ways you may model Christlikeness in your family with particular regard to giving.
• Join the conversation; I’d love to hear from you!

Early Tuesday morning last week, our fourth grandchild was born, Jeremy Ian Fetterolf! What memories that brought back to me, and yet I realized there were sure a lot of things I didn’t remember.

As I visited with our daughter, Candice, and her husband Ben, and sons JD and Jeremy, I was reminded by her how much babies glean from being close to their parents, or others for that matter. Although that reality was undoubtedly practiced on her when she was an infant, I had forgotten that specific statement. I did remember, though, how much of our parenting was based on James 1:5, which says, “if any of you lack wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”​ What a blessing to have memorized that verse in my early years, but what an even greater blessing it was to put it into parenting practice!

I encourage you, no matter what stage you are in the parenting process, from being one with no children, to being one with grandchildren, keep using that free gift of wisdom that God wants to supply. He never runs out, and it will always help!

James 3: 17 reads: “But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.”

It’s apparent … we have much for which to be thankful!  Many times, in the middle of discipline, discussions, or decisions which need to be made that surround our children, we can become discouraged in the process of parenting. Please be reminded—and be thankful—for the privilege of being a mentor and a discipler, rather than being discouraged with the task.

God has said that we will reap if we faint not! I encourage you to continue to be thankful that you have the opportunity of rearing a disciple for Jesus Christ! That will change all perspectives as you reflect and become re-energized with that wonderful opportunity of bringing up children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord!

Think about and discuss this:

• Consider the words of Psalm 145:4, which promise that “One generation shall commend your works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts.”
• Had you thought of it as being a privilege to be a part of the continuum of God’s work in raising godly children in order that they, too, might raise their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord?
• Join the conversation; I’d love to hear from you!

The child Samuel was born as an answer to his mother’s prayer.  She wanted a child so badly, and up to the time of her petition she had not become pregnant.  God, in His kindness, blessed her with a son, Samuel.  When he was very young, she took him back to the Temple to live and serve with Eli, the priest.

Unfortunately, the priest and his sons were not wholesome, and either allowed or lived in sin.  Imagine growing up under those circumstances!

Samuel was distanced from his parents, and was among those who thought sinful choices were not going against a Holy God.  Although he did not have a good influence in his life during this time, he did have God’s truth embedded in his heart—embedded in the very core of who he was. Therefore, this truth was able to propel him in what he did.

It was through all of the circumstances that came his way that Samuel was molded and shaped into the man God wanted him to be.  It was not that he was kept from wrong or that he had a wonderful upbringing that made him the man that God used in the Old Testament; rather, it was the obstacles and difficulties  that he lived above that made him a man able to lead, to counsel, and to direct a nation for God’s kingdom use.

Always consider God’s truths as the resource and reason for holy living, not the influences and lifestyles around you.  A person may not have the proper influences on him or observe correct behavior, yet through God’s truths, he can live for His glory, just like Samuel did!

• Are you endeavoring to nurture your children in a God-fearing, Christ-exalting, right-living environment?
• Suggest the one most significant area of vulnerability that your children may be exposed to.
• Distanced from his parents, it is remarkable that Samuel grew up fearing the Lord. Does this encourage you, as much as you strive to be a good parent, to know that God is able to overrule matters when you mess up?
• What can you do to build a consistently biblically informed values system into your children’s lives?
• Join the conversation; I’d love to hear from you!

Customer service is wonderful when it really is a service.

When you are perhaps in a departmental store and you look for customer satisfaction—and it is not provided—doesn’t it make you feel that the customer service department is really not wanting customer satisfaction?

We should consider the same principle when we think of serving God.  Teaching children to obey does not only mean their willful follow-through when they are given a chore;  fulfilling a chore while grumbling is not true obedience.

The same holds true for serving God.  We need to instill in our children, patterned and modeled by our lives, that fulfilling God’s will and way must continue to be that of joy in the service, not joy when the service concludes.

I would encourage you to live to God’s glory. The paramount way to do this is to serve Him with gladness! The Psalmist David exhorts us to do just this in Psalm 100:2.

• Think of three areas in which you serve the Lord. Describe (only to yourself) your heartfelt attitude in them.
• What adjustments might you need to think of making to your attitude?
• How do you encourage serving God with gladness?
• What strategies might you need to implement in order to intentionally cultivate in your children this kind of mindset?
• Join the conversation; I’d love to hear from you!

We are all given opportunities to choose, whether it be what type of ice cream flavor we might desire for desert, or whether we obey the laws of the land.  And, based on those choices, we all experience the consequences from those choices.  If we choose our favorite flavor of ice cream, then we thoroughly enjoy that dessert, but if we don’t make a favorite selection, then we are stuck with either the consequence of no ice cream, or a flavor we don’t like.

When it comes to choosing to do right or wrong, the choice for doing right brings a reward or blessing, while the choice to do wrong brings judgment or discipline.  Many times people wonder why they end up with unfulfilled expectations, and yet they continue to shirk God and His law and His way.  They are simply experiencing their consequences based on their choices.  Too often, people think consequences are bad—yet they are simply from God’s Word. The principle remains: “You reap what you sow” (see Galatians 6:7).  Doing right brings God’s blessing!

The reward for seeking God is finding Him!  Seek Him, and you’ll be rewarded by finding Him. Jeremiah, the Old Testament prophet, made this point powerfully in his book—see  29:13. By not seeking Him, the consequence is such that you won’t find Him, and in turn, you will live and experience matters accordingly.

• What steps are you taking to taking, or do you need to take, to calibrate your lifestyle and values with Scripture?
• What steps are you taking to continue to “put off the old and put on the new”?
• Suggest two or three things you may intentionally do to demonstrate these priorities to your children. What is the most challenging aspect of this?
• Join the conversation; I’d love to hear from you!

Rearing children will be one of the most difficult efforts—yet one of the most rewarding efforts—you will ever be involved in!

As you do this, your foundation for rearing them will come under greater and greater scrutiny, and you will find this to be a tremendous base that you will go back to over and over again.

God’s Word, the Bible, is the most sure and certain foundation on which to build your family. And God’s ways—as He rules over your life and your family’s life from day to day and moment to moment—will prove a most wonderful witness to you as you endeavor to walk obediently in fellowship with Him through the challenging maze of life’s circumstances.

The Psalmist made a strong connection between God’s Word on the one hand, and, on the other hand, the progress he was making along life’s pathway. This is what he wrote:

Your word is a lamp to my feet,  and a light to my path.  (Psalm 119:105)

Of course, to navigate through life in light of the wisdom of the Word, it is vital to first be founded on the truth and teaching of that Word. That is one reason why it is so critical to always consider God’s Word and God’s ways as you make continual strides in rearing your child for His glory!

• What plans or strategies do you have for first exposing yourself to His Word? What does this mean to you in terms of (a) basic Bible reading, (b) closer and more detailed study of the Bible, (c) committing Bible verses to memory?
• What things will most likely hinder or prevent you from reading the Bible?
• How do you deal with distractions that would keep you from heeding God’s Word?
• How have you found that keeping God’s Word at your forefront helps you?
• Join the conversation; I’d love to hear from you!

As I consider the necessity of raising up worshippers of the one true and living God, it yet brings parenting into an even more important role and responsibility. I am afraid that too often parents consider the importance of rearing a child who can perform chores around the home, excel in academics and athletics, and yet fail to recall that God wants His children to worship and honor him above all else!

Since children will emulate what parents promote, it is extremely important that parents reveal the principle of wholehearted devotion to each other and to their Lord!  That has helped me to remain focused in rearing children that would please the Lord, no matter what!

• What has been your constant reminder to help you rear your children to be worshippers of the one true and living God?
• How best do you think you could work intentionally with your children toward the fulfillment of Malachi 1:11, a passage that states: “For from the rising of the sun to its setting my name will be great among the nations, and in every place incense will be offered to my name, and a pure offering. For my name will be great among the nations, says the LORD of hosts.”?
• Join the conversation; I’d love to hear from you!

If you are about to commence any major project, the most difficult aspect is often the beginning—simply getting started. Here are two examples:

• When it comes to a house renovation project, getting all of the details and facts and materials together first is usually what keeps the project from starting.
• When it comes to exercise or diet, the same phenomenon exists, as just starting it is the difficulty.

That luxury—the luxury of relaxed planning—is not always available to parents. Once a baby is born, ready or not, parenting must begin! That is why it is so important that parents take the time to consider what they want to apply in their new role.

God’s Word has much to say about living lives that are pleasing to Him!  In contrast, however, there are not so many specific verses that apply to this parenting role. Therefore your personal relationship with Jesus Christ, and motivation to follow those principles which are in His Word, are what will help you be the right type of parent, no matter what the circumstance!

How have you found that you were able to best establish your biblical priorities in parenting?

• And how have you managed to maintain or keep those same priorities? Share one or two short examples from your experience.
• Join the conversation; I’d love to hear from you!